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[21 Dec 2005|06:52pm] im ok

pictures pictures pictures [30 Nov 2005|09:04pm] [ mood | tired ] [ music | nothing ] welp i got the pics from me and marika getting out tongues done and brad getting his tattoo done so here they are ( Whos gonna catch me when i fall? ) im ok

i got to getaway, to a place where i can be redefined.... but the truth is i cant even say goodbye [16 Nov 2005|06:44pm] [ mood | indescribable ] [ music | getaway x hilary duff ] yea lifes still boring tongues healed and i finally got to switch the barbell... pretty sweet if i say so myself now im saving up for a tattoo, donno where yet but its godda be hidden cos it cant be showing at danielles wedding uhm my moms been letting me drive her truck for teacher cadet so thats cool driving it tomorrow uhm thats about it dont really do much but hang out with bill and danielle and brad so if anybody wants to hang out you should know the number.. i miss everyone that i used to hang out with... how is it that last year i hung out with alot of people but then i get fucked over .. but i still hung out with people then everybody stops talking to me then suddenly i have nobody but a few people... what did i do?... but yea teacher cadets been cool so far my mentors nice so yea thats good and the class seems cool too... after highschool im prolly gonna be moving, not like anybody really cares cos nobody would miss me but yea might be moving to midland, which is like 3 hours away.... ill finally be outta here, so hopefully it works out my moms gonna look and see if theres a college up there that i can go to and i guess its kind of like naubinway, but a lil bigger which is good cos naubinway is pretty small, but its still kickass too bad i cant go up there anymore :( but like i said i dont think that too many people would miss me ... maybe one and thats about it but yea ive got some homework so im out <3 im ok

whos gonna catch me when i fall??? [06 Nov 2005|09:05pm] [ mood | good ] [ music | coming back for more x ashlee simpson ] on friday marika picked me up from school then we went and cashed my check came home and cleaned out my car.. then me and marika went to her work and got a pizza and breadsticks then went and picked her nephew up went to her house adn hung out there a lil while then went and got brad from work stopped at the dollar store then i wanted burger king cos i thought it was going to be my last solid food for awhile then we went to americas ink brad picked out his tattoo... a paw print with eyes and wolf fur it looks really good and then i ran to the bathroom and i went to the room.. and they were like ok your going first so i sat in the chair and danny (the guy doing it) told me he was just like measuring my tongue and he wasnt peircing it then and then he just shoved the needle in.. it was really quick like 3 seconds... didnt hurt though just like a pinch :) so yes erin marie kebbe has her tongue peirced brad took pictures while he was doing it ... and afterwards and shit so yea i godda get those developed after i got mine done marika got hers done... got pics of that too then brad got his tattoo... it does look really good, got pics of that too then after that we went to 7*11 and got slurpees cos they're kickass .. :) anything cold really then we came home and marika spent the night... yea its hot .. i like it still kind of hurts but not that bad anymore... and only like 7 more days until i can put the normal bar bell in cos this ones like huge .. i like cant close my mouth but yea .. saturday i went and showed my aunt and shit yea shes the only family member besides bill, danielle and my mom thats seen it my manager didnt see it though .. so i didnt lose my job, yet so thats good today marika came over and we hung out adn shit put my christmas tree up its pretty lol but ima go finish my homework and get ready for bed peace! im ok

so i scream, scream cos it hurts [31 Oct 2005|05:17pm] [ mood | okay ] [ music | in another life x ashlee simpson ] ok lets see uhm friday night didnt do anything since i had crashed the car that day so yea saturday was marikas birthday ... and shes kickass and came all the way down here to pick me and brad up .. yep i <3 her! .. not many people would drive all the way down here from 9 mile and then go right back there .. then come back down here again... yea shes sweet but she dropped us off at the mall and it was only supposed to take her like an hr to go eat at her dinners but it took longer so me and brad just called bill and he came and got us went and got some liquor cos bills sweet like that 99 blackberries (which is really good ..a nd it fucks u up so its sweet) some heenesey, destinee.... then went to bills and her made me an incredible hulk, strong shit but its pretty cos it turns green :) lol then danielle came over ... then marika called so i told her to go up to 7*11 and we'd meet her there so we went and got mcdonalds then got her .. then back to bills and he had to go get more liquor .. so he got some jack :D yay! then we smoked some .... not much though then we drank some more .. i really dont know how many drinks i had but i was completley and utterly fucked up by thee end of the night... was some pretty damn good times .. marika and i need to turn 18 more often cant wait til brad turns 21 :) ohhh thats gonna be kickass welp uhm today was gay cos i had to take the pankow bus and i forgot my cigarettes at home so after pankow i walked up to t-town and bought a pack then went to jets and brad gave me a pop and a piece of pizza then went back .. was a lil late for 5th hr so i godda call that in so its exc .. then after school i went with steph to south river to read to the kids .. that was cool .. and i got to see steph which is a big thing cos i rarely do anymore but yea .... i got the ashlee simpson CD, the new one, and its pretty kickass .. yea i like it on Saturday im getting me and marika are getting our tongues peirced .. im so gonna go threw hell with child care and teacher cadet and then also at bob evans but ill worry about that when it happens cos i really want it .. and my lifes been going pretty shitty so im doing it cos i really want to ... might get a tattoo too .. but im doubting it i need to make some money .. so ill like rake leaves er shovel snow or anything to make some cash cos i really need to get a car .. cos stephs driving me to school and shit but i feel kinda bad for it so yea .. i dont want to be a burden on anybody .. welp ima go do my homework er something... <3 im ok

im beautifully broken [28 Oct 2005|06:55pm] [ mood | pathetic ] [ music | naked x avril lavigne ] welp lets see erins new fuck up .finally totaled the car .i know everybody was waiting for it to happen and i did it....yep go me .rearended somebody going like 50 and fucked it up ... .its not totaled completely but unless i can come up with like 6 grand to fix it it aint moving out of my drveway .and yea kinda sux cos now im not going to the senses fail show with brad for my birthday :( and i was really really really looking forward to it :( but life sux eh? .and i fucked up my back i think, cos its killing me .. and so is my neck .. but my backs worse .. was fine at the accident until i started walking .. god i just suck at life dont i? .cops werent called though so the insurance company wont be getting involved and my probation wont last any longer, dont really matter though sinc ei dont have a car .but since i aint got a car i got to walk from north to atwood every tuesday, wednesday and thurtsday for teahcer cadet.. sweet shit eh? .. specially when its freezing outside.. god i <3 it! yup i figured it out if there is a god he officially hates me.... cos my life kinda sux now dont really have any friends besides steph and marika .. and brad dont know where all of mine went .. i thought i had alot last year and suddenly i got two .. so yea .. my life really sux .. even more now cos the small social life i had is gonna be even smaller.. never thought it was possible .. but yes it is and u know whats really fucked up? my mom is letting me take the truck to go get brad from work.. i get in a major car accident and she lets me drive her truck ... wtf? yea .. baffles me too i wanna get the new ashlee simpson CD .. i think ima get it today when i go get brad god my back hurts .. :-/ i hate myself so much welp im gonna go check out the damage some more and see if theres something i missed im ok

believe the news.... im gone for good [26 Oct 2005|03:35pm] [ mood | sad ] [ music | car underwate x armor for sleep ] 10 Firsts: First Best Friend: Aubree First Screen Name: AwesomeBlossom018 First Piercing: Ears First Crush: uhm my first real one would be Jay.... i was really obsessed..lol First Music: Moffatts First Car: The booger ... 02 Cavalier First love: Anthony.. if you can call that love, when he didnt give two shits about me back First stuffed animal: hell if i member .. prolly my 101 dalmation ones First Time Being Drunk: with my love... but completely plastered was by myself First Job: Bob Evans 9 Lasts: Last Cigarette: About a minute ago Last Alchoholic beverage: uhm my birthday i did a shot of jack Last Car Ride: back from the doctors Last Movie Seen in theatres: uhm.... i dont member the name so ill just say charlie and the chocolate factory Last Phone Call: uhm... my mother yea im sweet i know Last Kiss: brad this morning Last CD Played: my mix Last bubble bath: with my love, stephanie ann blackbird Last time you cried: uhm?... last time i visited shadow in the back 8 Have You Evers: Have You Ever Been Out Side The Country: does canada count? Have You Ever Dated One Of Your Best Friends: nope Have You Ever Been Arrested: nope Have You Ever Skinny Dipped: yep Have You Ever Been on TV: yea a long ass time ago though Have You Ever Kissed Someone and Then Regretted It: just kissed? no Have You Ever had a Suggestive Dream About Someone You Knew: yes Have you ever cheated: nope, and i wont cos ive been cheated on and i know what it feels like 6 Things You've Done Today: 1. slept 2. went to the doctors 3. got birth control 4. uhm ate? 5. got in a fight with brad and now he wont talk to me 6. didnt go to school 5 Things you ate today: 1. noodle cup 2. chicken 3. potato skins 4. cupcake 5. ? 4 People You Can Tell [ALMOST] Anything to: 1. steph 2. brad 3. marika 4. 3 Choices: 1. Black or White: black 2. Hot or Cold: hot 3. Sun or Rain: depends on my mood 2 Things You Want to Do Before you die: 1. get married 2. go to vegas and stay in the pent house 1 thing you regret: everything i did last year im ok

my lovely lil lumps [22 Oct 2005|07:52pm] [ mood | sad ] [ music | my hump x black eyed peas ] uhm lets see ... nothing new really brads still living here.... so thats good and hes getting me the senses fail tickets for the 4th of november for my birthday so yea .. thats pretty sweet might be going to see matchbook too so only 4 hours til im going out to buy cigarettes with the no money i have but my mommys giving me some to go buy those and a lotto ticket and ill be able to buy porn go me! yup yup and only 14 days til im getting my tongue :D .. my moms throwing 25.00 down on that so now i jsut godda come up with 25.00...... and money for the ring .. i want a playboy one :) i barely talk to my love anymore .. it really sux .. this growing up thing sux balls .. i seen her like once in the past liek 3 weeks i havnt talked to marika in awhile, and i wsa talking to her like every night for awhile its kinda sad :( .. yea .. hopefully, we're still getting our tongues done on the 5th ... cant wait .. brads coming with us too :p uhm i finally got a teacher for teacher cadet so thats good ... i emailed my first grade teacher and asked her for it .. and she membered me i seriously didnt think she would yesterday i went and seen shadow at my grammas ... stayed back there for like an hr laying on the ground with my head on her water bowl and holding her collar crying even though it was like freezing .. im gonna try going once a week ... uhm im gonna put X-mas decorations up soon :) yep yep prolly tonight to waste time until midnight welp ima go cos thats about it really .... im ok

when im around you... [16 Oct 2005|08:59pm] [ mood | okay ] [ music | whos that girl x hilary duff ] uhm lets see lifes boring whats new the wedding kind of sucked did get to drink a lil thought not enough though but on october 29th me and marika are hopefully getting trashed and then on november 5th we're getting our tongues done halloween we're gonna go clubbing er something, just godda find some places to go to. shall be fun cant wait :) havnt seen her in awhile we were sopposed to hang out a few times but shit always came up i miss her :( you know who else i miss, my love ... i never see her anymore.. life sux doesnt it? but yea got stoned today with brad and bill :) godda love it and bill and danielle are coming over tonight so we can blaze it up again :) yay! and yesterday being the genius that i am took 4 darvocets cos i thought they were naproxen for my cramps but after i took them i started feeling really woozy like i was stoned and thats when i was like uhm yea i dont think those were naproxen.. so i called my mom and asked her if they were and she said no ... so she came home and then called the psychiatrist to see if they were 100 mg or 650 mg ... if they were 650 i would've had to have had my stomach pumped but they were only 100 so all that happened was i felt like complete shit .. banging headace, felt like i was gonnna puke .... and the pharmicist said not to let me sleep so i was stuck staying up and i was seriously so tired i was about to pass out .. my mom made me go for a walk with brad and had to like hold me up cos i was so tired.. and they like shoved food down my throat cos i couldnt like eat .. so yea .. kinda sucked and it really sucked cos i had to go to work when i felt like that .. yay wasnt in to good of a mood there so chris let me go righ when rachel got there but yea i dont feel like making this friends only anymore its retarded... i dont care who reads this so yea.. it's been a week since shadow died :( tomorow im going behind my grammas to see her, cos ima loser like that but i dont care she was one of my few friends .... im sweet eh? yesterday for sweetest day brad got me a stuffed dog that i decided to name princess starlite :) hehe and i got flowers with a vase, a card, and a lil stuffed bear dont i have a sweet boyfriend :) i've never been so happy with a guy before ... maybe that says something and i actually feel like hes not lying when he says he loves me :) and its definately kind of weird living with your boyfriend, but it's not like a bad weird .. cos i like it ... cos hes always there if i need something and if he wasnt here id prolly still be in the shower cryiing about shadow :( .... or yesterday i would've just went to sleep cos hes the one that told me to call my mom bout the pills and who knows i could've died (doubt it but hey)... so yea weird but good :) welp im out peace <3 im ok

this is cool, i guess [20 Aug 2005|12:26am] [ mood | okay ] [ music | summer of '69 x bryan adams ] okie im going to a shitload of concerts ........ just godda find ppl to go with bolded bands i really wanna see 1.september 28th-fallout boy, boys night out, motion city soundtrack, the starting line, panic! at the disco at the state theater at 5 pm and tickets are 21.75 2.november 4th-senses fail, saves the day, say anything, possibly the early november at st andrews hall at 5:30 pm and tickets are 17.99 3.october 15-mae at st andrews hall at 8 pm and tickets are 12.00 4.december 9th-hawthorne heights at majestic theater at 6pm and tickets arnt on sale yet so i donno prices 5.september 25th-the spill canvas, this day and age at the shelter at 7 pm and tickerts are 8.00 if you'd wanna come with me leave me a message cos that would sa-weet :) .. or u can gimme a call 5868764626 if i dont answer it leave me a voicemail, there is a reason i made it :p 1. Go here. 2. Pass it on. ( my answers ) <3 im ok

its just a tragic case of bad taste [19 Aug 2005|08:34pm] [ mood | confused ] [ music | my december x linkin park ] ok time for erin marie kebbe to be serious i've decided that i want the hell out of chesterfield, and preferably michigan in general and since i prolly am gonna have a very small social life for my senior year im actually gonna do my homework (gasp) and believe it or not im gonna im gonna keep the skipping down (cant give that up, completley.. sry its addicting..so its like my drug) and the only reason im doing this is so i can finally get out of here and go somewhere else where nobody knows me and i can start all over again ... yea i will talk to a few ppl still, stephanie ann blackbird being the main one but truthfully i dont think i will continue talking to anyone else once i move because i barely talk to them now why would they talk to me when im not here and ive given up on finding a boyfriend fuck it... all i ever get are assholes anyways and its not like i get that many.. havnt had one since what... december? january? and that never really counted as a relationship so its more like the end of october.. also giving up on the quitting smoking thing tobbaco town sells to me so im good just buying em myself i dont have the strength or a big enough want to quit it makes me happy so nobodys gonna take that away from me now i just have to figure out where im gonna go and how im going to get there but i know im gonna have to start saving money so im gonna need another job or at least a better paying one cos making about 50 bucks a week is gonna take me awhile to save up a decent amount which kinda sux cos i kinda like my job i mean i never wanna go but its pretty cool considering i dont do shit and i dont have to close anymore hopefully i can stick to this shit since i usually dont stick to anything i say so who knows if i will or not this growing up thing is really depressing i wish i could be like 16 again (yes most ppl say 12 but i was and still am pretty damn immature) where i didnt think about the future or anything like that i really dont wanna grow up i wanna go to never never land... (with peter pan not michael jackson) <3 ( and id give it all away just to have somewhere to go to..give it all away to have someone to come home too ) 3 know that im ok

why should i take your hand when you cant promise happy endings [17 Aug 2005|08:51pm] [ mood | depressed ] [ music | cavanaugh park x something corporate ] lets see basically today i found out that everybody hates me yep .. aint that just grand and im making this entry public so everybody that reads this can learn the truth, cos most of the shit anthony is saying isnt more like all of it anthony is spreading lies about me and saying that i was all over him when it was me him and patrick in my backseat .. but last time i checked i was all over patrick considering my tongue was down his throat but i was all over anthony right and ive been calling him to hang out all the time .. yea i never called him to make plans he always called me and sopposedly i want him back like hardcore but guess what i actually dont .. i mean a part of me does but in general i do not want to go back out with him why would i? look at what hes done to me he dumped me for my god damn best friend yes i so wanna go threw that again and brandi told lexi that marcus said he hates me so who fucken knows who doesnt hate me, cos it sure as hell seems like everybody i used to talk to does they'd all rather be friends with brandi, even though she used to talk mad shit about fraser people with nikki in child care and how retarded they all were or some bullshit like that but whatever .. nothing matters anymore oh and sopposedly brandi was crying when we did the pregnency thing but last time i checked she was laughing her ass off with me ...... oh and according to mike me and him didnt have sex but believe me people that is definately not something i would brag about considering it was the worst i ever had ..... but it wasnt mike who told anthony it was brandi ... aint that sweet fuck her i seriously hope she trys killing herself again... so yea basically i have 1 er 2 friends if im lucky .. which i never am so yea i realized today that if i wasnt around everybody would be happy and getting along just fine.. nobody would have to put up with me and all the shit that i sopposedly cause ...im the one thats the "bitch" who everybody hates... but what i dont get is that ive never done anything bad to any of the people that hate me.. ive been a good friend to everyone ive ever been friends with and i will not say differently but whatever.. fuck everybody that hates me i dont need em and there shit so yes i can already tell my senior year is going to be fucken awesome im ok

i set myself up for the greatest fall of all time [16 Aug 2005|06:40pm] [ mood | angry ] [ music | lovers and liars x matchbook romance ] ( oh im so excited to be going back to school :(...yay ) im ok

sat around and thought about destiny [13 Aug 2005|11:43pm] [ mood | sad ] [ music | make yourself at home x the starting line ] ok i just had a deep conversation with steph... made me cry i wish things could be like they were last year, with everything and everybody anthony, brandi and when i wasnt a complete whore... anybody else wish that? but they cant ....... and they wont ever will be ..... this is my 3rd update today .. and none of them are actually an "update" im ok

something corporate.. [13 Aug 2005|08:33pm] [ mood | blah ] [ music | i want to save you x something corporate ] standing on the edge of morning scent of sex and new found glory playing as she's pulling back her hair she drives away she's feeling worthless used again but nothing's different she'd stay the night but knows he doesn't care home by three deafening quiet the porch light's off yes they forgot it she'd cry herself to sleep but she don't dare and she wants to be a model she wants to hear she's beautiful she's beautiful i want to save you i want to save you i need you save me too i want to save you dressed by dawn and out the door no light she memorized the floor so she could leave without being detected she works till three it's uniform she dreams that he'll come by the store she prays for days when boys mean she's protected and she wants someone to see her she needs to hear she's beautiful she's beautiful i want to save you i want to save you i need you save me too i want to save you and she won't sleep she won't sleep and she won't sleep at all i want to save you i want to save you i need you save me too i want to save you (let me save you) i want to save you (let me save you) i want to save you (let me save you) i want to save you ok i decided that is the song that i want a guy to ask me out with im ok

..im jsut a notch in your bedpost.. [28 Jul 2005|02:16am] [ mood | tired ] [ music | the ground folds (acoustic) x senses fail ] had to make it friends only <3 4 know that im ok

i set myself up for the greatest fall of all time [23 Jan 2005|06:40pm] [ mood | busy ] [ music | martini kiss x senses fail ] well first semester of my junior year is officially over .. yay .. now only 3 semesters left til im outta north :) yay .. but this past week was cool tuesday had my child care final .. got an A+ on it :) so hopefully ill get that credit .. uhm then after school me and steph went and got white castle cos we're hot like that then came back here and watched harold and kumar go to white castle .. that is like the best movie ya'll should watch it then i took steph home and went to bed wednesday had my journalism and independent living final, think i failed both but whatever .. uhm then after school steph came over and then andy and gino came over .. they stayed here for a lil while gino bought me a pizza lol :) .. then they left and i went to my doctors then came home and went to bed .. yay im coo eh? thursday had my painting and food/nutrion final .. think i passed both .. hopefully even though my painting completely sucked .. then after school me steph and brandi went to meijers and bought jelly beans-13.00 worth of jellybeans .. lol .. then brandi came over .. and we went over to my aunts work .. she bought us jimmy johns then some creepy old guy was so flirting with us at blue dog and he bought us some cigs though :) ... he was really gross though lol .. and then we went over bills and got stoned .. then we went to a child care center for a job, and on our way back i rearended somebody and tracy said i need to get a whole new hood .. but whatever i can drive with it like this so yea .. uhm then we came back here.. then lexi came over and we all went and smoked with ryan for the second time that day :) lol .. stopped at tacobell on the way home then got home and went to bed .. friday got up got ready .. and then i took brandi home and me and steph went to gino and andys .. hung out there til like 2:30 then we stopped at hot*n*now and then i took steph home came home took a shower then i went and got steph again and we went to lakeside and then we went over bills and smoked again :) .. good times .. then we came home and went to bed saturday got up and got ready then went to my therpist .. then my grammas .. then went and got brandi then we went back to my grammas and me my aunt brandi and my mom went out to Gus' then me and brandi came back here and hung out here becasue of the fucken 50 feet of snow we got my mom wouldnt let me drive so yea .. we're so cool i kniow sunday got nothing to do today .. about to go to media play with my mother .. i seen andy twice this week ... isnt that like a miracle? lol .. i really like seeing him but im sure it'll be a few more weeks before i get to again but what can i do about it? i just godda deal with it so yea peace! :) <3 matchbook romance is awesome .. every1 should listen to them 48 days dude :):):):) im ok

in the middle of a gunfight, in the center of a restuarant [17 Jan 2005|11:24pm] [ mood | sleepy ] [ music | before i forget x slipknot ] i really should go to bed but i dont wanna well i do but i wanna do this first uhm this weekends been fun and i have a feeling this week is gonna be too uhm saturday i got up took a shower then went and got DJ and brandi and took DJ to his hockey thingy then me and brandi drove around adn then we went to my therapist appointment .. then we went to the mall and some black guy hit on me which was really weird nad gross .. im not racist but i dont want a black guy so yea .. and then we went and got the tickets for the taste of chaos tour so we are officially going .. im so exicted .. eek! .. lol yea me and brandi are cool know .. then we went to hot topic and i got a magazine then we went and got hot*n*now .. then came home .. then went back out and hung out with ryan .. got blazed .. ryan got us lost in detroit .. have no idea how we got htere cos i woke upand we were there... i ate like a whole bag og jelly beans though .. lol.. then we finally found our way back and me and brandi came home and i drove fine :-p then last night me brandi and steph hung out here all day and then we went bought some shit off of billand then we smoked with ryan and his friend jackie .. that was fun but i never should've drove .. came home and i felt so great .. like i forgot all this shit with anthony .. was kinda freaked out until my mom went ot bed but after that i just sat and enjoyed myself lol .. then somebody IMed me and started shit ... im so sick of this .. i didnt do anything to anybody but now i got ppl IMing me saying that they're anthony and shit .. its really pissing me off .. so id really enjoy it if people would stop fucking with my emotions .. cos they're not quite stable right know the littlest things can set me off so plz dont and if ur gonna at least have the balls to say it to my face and not a computer screen then didnt do anything today .. and somebody IMed branid saying shit .. it was the same person as last night .. and then i IMed him and he wouldnt really talk to me .. but yea just people plz stop tommorrow me and steph are getting white castle and watching the white castle movie cos we're hot like that :-p and we might be smoking :) and then wednesday i might do something with steph andy and gino but i doubt if i will cos i usually dont see andy so yea thursday i donno .. anybody wanna do something yea ima go to bed so i can be all ready for my stupid final tommorrow for child care .. we're gonna be there for like 4 hours :( thats like so long <3 i <3 him :-/ still im ok

i'll never forget the day that i found god in a kitchen knife and on my arm [13 Jan 2005|08:27pm] [ mood | content ] [ music | the ghost of you x my chemical romance ] uhm .. when i made my last entry brandi lied to me about still talking to anthoy which made me assume that if she lied about it she did make out with anthony, which if id found out that that happened i dont exactly know what i would've done .. i serioulsy dont .. thats why i didnt ask brandi about ti at first cos i was actually afraid to fidn out the truth but me and brandi talked about and anthony called me and told me that i was a lie and that he said it just to piss me off and shit ... which kinda depressed me .. cos sopposedly he doesnt hate me he just hates my attitude which is what my therapist said but yea i donno ... he still doesnt wanna be friends and thats what i really want .. just to be able to call him and talk :( i miss him .. i dont miss him as a boyfriend just him being there .. yah know? i donno it realyl sux though cos i still love him :-/ i really do but lifes a bitch .. uhm havnt seen or even talk to andy for almost 3 weeks ... im figuring if it reaches a month er something we should break up .. i donno though cos i do like him :-/ but yea i wanna see him :( but im not calling him because i always did that with anthony and my mom said that he might've felt crowded with me er whatever and i dont want andy to so im not caling him .. if he wants to talk er whatever he'll call me ...uhm my mom has cards next friday ... stephs hopefully coming over .. i should have a party :-p lol .. yea with my big 3 er 4 friends .. lol skipped 3rd and 4th today wit steph and brandi .. we went to birchwood mall and i got a senses fail shirt .. its orange and i like it and i got that power rangers jacket thing for only 18.00 i need a job really bad :( cos im outta money again .. finals are next week monday-no school hehe tuesday-child care (taking it tommorrow) wednesday-journalism and independent living thursday-painting and food nutrion (godda clean the kitchen) friday-no school and the whole week is half days so anybody wanna do something after school er something? if so gimme a call everybody should listen to my chemical romance .. they're awesome :-p lol i wanna go to that concert but i dont see it happening cos shit usually doesnt go my way but whatever welp ima go get ready for bed so mab ie ill get to bed before 12 lke i have been this whole week <3 the song "ghost of you" by my chemical romance is like THE best song .. it reminds me so much of anthony and gives me the feeling i had when i first met him :( i miss that boy so much im ok

i think the truth is that im scared of living [10 Jan 2005|05:56pm] [ mood | crushed ] [ music | slow dance x senses fail ] welp havnt updated for awhile .. like about a week er something didnt do anything this past weekend .. it was gay havnt seen andy for like 2 weeks i miss him, i really do but what can yah do lifes kinda down right know my "best friend" straight out lied to me today, shows u how much i can trust people now .. i got like one person that i completely trust .. and with my luck i'll lose her too .. im losing it all .. i lost anthony and now i lost one of my best friends .. havnt lost her completely but i definately aint gonna be able to trust her like i used to and i probably will lose her it doesnt even feel like i have a boyfriend anymore .. we never talk so ive basically lost him too i have one person and thats all and i know everybody puts that and then they get like 2039840221 comments saying that they are that persons friends er whatever ... but i wont get any ... its sad but true ... whatever though fuck life 2 know that im ok

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